GIRL FLIPS SCRIPT
Transforming the Inner Critic
One of my most priceless 'Ah-ha!' moments came to me by way of a homework assignment my first year of grad school. The class was Psychology of Art Materials. Our assignment was to do something nice for ourselves every day for one week then share it with the class. I chose to be more mindful and diligent about flipping my ever chattering negative self-talk to something more positive and encouraging.
-my inner wise cat, 2016 |
I was practicing what I coined, “Dear Jenna” moments (like the "Dear kitten" ads from Friskies). When my thoughts began to obsess over a particular worrisome topic I would start my mental note, “Dear Jenna, You arewalking down the sidewalk. The weather is beautiful. You can stopworrying about rent and startnoticing the art around you.” From “Dear Jenna” came a deep curiosity regarding this script flipping process and other alternate art therapy mediums.
That is when I found the Inner Critic directive in Focus-Orienting Art Therapy by Dr. Laury Rappaport |
The goals of the Transforming the Inner Critics are to become mindful of one’s Inner Critic as well as the other part of self that is the receiving the criticism. In Focus-Orienting Art Therapy, the term “Inner Critic” is likened to Freud's concept of the superego, “. .An inner voice that criticizes and interrupts a person’s every hopeful move... The voice has little understanding and no compassion ... usually negative, angry, hostile, attacking, mean, petty. . .” (Rappaport, 2009).
To tame the Critic, it is important to first become aware of its existence and then find ways to manage it. Over time, the Critic becomes quieter resulting in a kinder, gentler inner relationship. One way to go about this is to create two images:
1- the felt sense of the current relationship between the Critic and Criticized (left)
2- and the felt sense of how you would like the relationship to be (right)
1- the felt sense of the current relationship between the Critic and Criticized (left)
2- and the felt sense of how you would like the relationship to be (right)
After creating the image a dialogue is encouraged where the client begins with a question to the Critic or the Criticized. Helpful questions to the Critic include, “What is your intention in being so critical? What are you afraid of? What do you want for me?” Helpful questions to the Criticized are, “What does it feel like to be criticized? What do you want to say? What do you need?” (Rappaport, 2009)
The dialogue between my Critic and Criticized revolved around the ability or inability to successfully complete the multitude of tasks in my life.
My Critic often scolds me for taking on more than I can actually accomplish. My critic is a bully and quick to project a doomed future for myself. In the left image above you see the Critic taking all of our energy and chastising me with threats of falling apart mentally and emotionally.
The work begins as my Criticized-self inquires why my critic-self has to be so harsh. To that the Critic explains that it was worried I would not heed the warning. The Criticized acknowledge the Critic's fears and asked that she try to rework her manner of warning. Instead of attacks, the Criticized asked to share the mental energy and soften the warnings. In the end, we find ourself working toward a more balanced relationship that honors me as a whole.
I am so grateful to have taken Psychology of Art Materials my first semester. The transition into graduate school has not been easy. Financial, household, and interpersonal sacrifices had to be made in order to attend the program full time. At times the emotional toll seemed as if it would consume me. However, it was our class’ exploration of art materials and techniques, such as the one above, that aided me in maintaining a healthier mental wellbeing. My purpose is to help others heal and find their voice through the transformative power of art. Psychology of Art Materials certainly aided in preparing myself for this journey.
The dialogue between my Critic and Criticized revolved around the ability or inability to successfully complete the multitude of tasks in my life.
My Critic often scolds me for taking on more than I can actually accomplish. My critic is a bully and quick to project a doomed future for myself. In the left image above you see the Critic taking all of our energy and chastising me with threats of falling apart mentally and emotionally.
The work begins as my Criticized-self inquires why my critic-self has to be so harsh. To that the Critic explains that it was worried I would not heed the warning. The Criticized acknowledge the Critic's fears and asked that she try to rework her manner of warning. Instead of attacks, the Criticized asked to share the mental energy and soften the warnings. In the end, we find ourself working toward a more balanced relationship that honors me as a whole.
I am so grateful to have taken Psychology of Art Materials my first semester. The transition into graduate school has not been easy. Financial, household, and interpersonal sacrifices had to be made in order to attend the program full time. At times the emotional toll seemed as if it would consume me. However, it was our class’ exploration of art materials and techniques, such as the one above, that aided me in maintaining a healthier mental wellbeing. My purpose is to help others heal and find their voice through the transformative power of art. Psychology of Art Materials certainly aided in preparing myself for this journey.
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Created during the Woman Unleashed Retreat Summer 2016. Dr. Mary's session In this session focussed on learning a process to work with my inner critic create “new rules” that better supports me based on what I really want, and, learn how to start listening to my inner wisdom rather than the iron-fisted-to-do-list.
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My inner critic/octopus monster turned out to be love turned upside down. We worked it out by redefining loving intentions and our common ground love language.
What a journey.
What a journey.
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Flipping the story helps ease separation anxiety
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Flipping works for kids too!
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Then we discovered mom expecting a new baby and starting showing in April right before M turned 4 years old in May. At first, M was very excited and proud to be 4 but then she regressed quickly. She became withdrawn, easily moved to tears, and had a worse time separating from Mom at drop-off than she ever did in September. “Where’s Mommy?” became both M's question and answer to everything. With that, M lost interest in working and exploring independently and often in a teacher's lap
One particular difficult drop-off Mom put M on my lap and I recited our classroom mantra, “Mommies always come back.” to which M emphatically and uncharacteristically demanded, “NO. THEY. DON'T.”
J, “Well, if they don’t come back, where Mommies go?”
M, “Her goes to China!” (stops crying and giggles.)
J, “I wonder what your Mommy does in China.”
M, “Her punches everyone in the head!”
J, “This is starting to sound like a very exciting story . . . Like a fairy tale.
Let’s write it down.”
One particular difficult drop-off Mom put M on my lap and I recited our classroom mantra, “Mommies always come back.” to which M emphatically and uncharacteristically demanded, “NO. THEY. DON'T.”
J, “Well, if they don’t come back, where Mommies go?”
M, “Her goes to China!” (stops crying and giggles.)
J, “I wonder what your Mommy does in China.”
M, “Her punches everyone in the head!”
J, “This is starting to sound like a very exciting story . . . Like a fairy tale.
Let’s write it down.”
Instead of giving M the impression that it was wrong to feel her feelings, I validated and respected them by recording them on paper.
Children (and adults) love to see their words come to life on paper.
I folded a nearby piece on construction paper in half and wrote her words on one side.
When she was finished we read her story out loud, acknowledging that the story was a really interesting and exciting story just like some her favorite make believe stories.
Children (and adults) love to see their words come to life on paper.
I folded a nearby piece on construction paper in half and wrote her words on one side.
When she was finished we read her story out loud, acknowledging that the story was a really interesting and exciting story just like some her favorite make believe stories.
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J: “Ok M, let’s read it again and this time we’ll add something Mommy really does for each silly one.”
At this point, we reread the story line by line and underlined each section.
M flipped the paper over and I wrote to corresponding true version directly across from it.
We read both stories one last time, ending with the true version.
M then joined other children who were also independently making folded-paper books.
At first her drawings were dark, heavy and haphazardly created.
She drew a smiley face and then quickly covered it up, filling up the entire page with black ink.
As M continued to draw and create books with the other children., her physical and emotional demeanor became lighter.
Even her line placement was more thoughtful and her language returned to a more age appropriate level.
The process was shared with Mom and the story was sent home.
At this point, we reread the story line by line and underlined each section.
M flipped the paper over and I wrote to corresponding true version directly across from it.
We read both stories one last time, ending with the true version.
M then joined other children who were also independently making folded-paper books.
At first her drawings were dark, heavy and haphazardly created.
She drew a smiley face and then quickly covered it up, filling up the entire page with black ink.
As M continued to draw and create books with the other children., her physical and emotional demeanor became lighter.
Even her line placement was more thoughtful and her language returned to a more age appropriate level.
The process was shared with Mom and the story was sent home.
